When Someone Ghosts You… and You Saw It Coming

TikTok video from 2022-04-24

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There’s a line on my affirmation poster that I come back to again and again:
“I take personal responsibility.”

Now, that’s easy to say when things are going well—when life feels light and aligned and the people around you are showing up in beautiful ways. But when it really matters is when things don’t go your way. When you feel rejected, ignored, or hurt. That’s when this principle shifts from pretty to powerful.

Let me tell you a story.

Last week, someone ghosted me. We had made a date. We were planning to see each other. And then… nothing. No message. No cancellation. No follow-up. Just a vanishing act.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting:
He told me he had ghosted someone before.

He literally told me. He gave me the red flag, wrapped in honesty, and handed it to me straight. 

And you know what I did?

I smoothed it over. I thought, Well, he wouldn’t do that to me. We have a good connection. I’m different.

I ignored my gut. I gave him a pass. And in the end, he ghosted me—just like he said he might.

Now let’s be real: it would be easy to put all the blame on him. To talk about emotional immaturity or lack of communication or basic decency. And I could make that case. But I’m not here to focus on him.

I’m here to look at ME.

Because when I say I take personal responsibility, I don’t mean I’m to blame for someone else’s poor behavior. What I mean is that I look at where I said yes to something that didn’t feel right.

I said yes to moving forward after being handed a red flag.

I said yes to hoping for change, even when someone told me exactly who they were.

I said yes to trusting potential over patterns.

And those are choices. Those are mine.

When I take responsibility, I’m not shaming myself—I’m empowering myself.

Because here’s the truth: if I called it in, I can choose differently next time.
If I ignored a flag, I can listen more closely next time.
If I gave someone access they didn’t earn, I can be more discerning moving forward.

And isn’t that clarity actually a gift?

This principle of personal responsibility goes way beyond dating. It shapes how I live, how I show up in my relationships, how I choose my lovers, my friends, my partners. It’s not about avoiding pain—it’s about learning from it.

When something hurts, I ask myself:

What part of me needed this experience?

What belief led me here?

What boundary do I need to reinforce moving forward?

That kind of inner reflection has changed the entire way I date. I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for alignment. I’m not interested in being chosen by someone who hasn’t chosen themselves.

So when someone ghosts me now, I don’t spiral. I listen. I recalibrate. I bless and release. Because someone who leaves without a word is clearing space for someone who speaks with clarity and shows up with care.

The real flex isn’t being ghosted and moving on like you don’t care.
The real flex is being ghosted, reflecting on what you allowed, and choosing better with love in your heart—not bitterness.

So yeah, I got ghosted. And yeah, I take responsibility—not for his behavior, but for my participation in the pattern.
And I’m better for it.