Creating My Life: Affirmations, Breakups, and Radical Responsibility
I have a small abundance affirmation poster. On the surface, it’s just a visual—words on paper, printed and shared. But in practice, this little poster is something I return to again and again. It’s a tool. A guidepost. A grounding practice that brings me back to my center when life gets noisy, chaotic, or uncertain.
As someone who lives a life filled with diverse relationships, constant growth, and intentional choices—this poster reminds me of one core truth:
I am the creator of my life.
This isn’t just a nice idea I repeat in the mirror. It’s an active decision I make each day. And in this blog series, I want to share what that looks like in real time—starting with the first and most foundational affirmation:
“I create my life.”
We all face challenges. I do too.
Despite the joy I radiate and the empowered choices I’ve made—yes, I still face heartbreak. I experience rejection. I lose people I thought would stay. And just like anyone else, I have days where I doubt my worth, question my path, or grieve the disconnects that inevitably happen when you live an expansive, heart-led life.
But I no longer live from those places. I let myself feel them. Honor them. Move through them. But I don’t let them dictate who I am or what I believe is possible for me.
Why?
Because I’ve learned that my joy is my responsibility.
Not my husband’s.
Not my partners’.
Not my friends’.
Mine.
Creating my life means I take ownership of how I respond to what happens, and who I allow into the inner architecture of my world. I don’t get to control the behavior of others—but I do get to choose my response, my boundaries, and my direction.
Last week, I had two very different endings—both involving people I had recently started seeing.
One person ghosted me.
We had a date on the calendar. I confirmed. He disappeared. No response. No explanation. Just silence.
The other sent a text.
“This isn’t what I’m looking for. I’m going to take some space and focus on myself. I hope you understand.”
And I did.
The contrast between the two was stark—and incredibly clarifying.
Yes, both were endings. But only one came with intentionality. With self-respect. With respect for me.
I was surprised by the text, of course. It’s always a little jarring to have a connection shift unexpectedly. But once I took a breath, I saw it clearly:
He didn’t reject me.
He removed himself from something that wasn’t aligned.
And in doing so, he cleared space for something better.
That’s what it means to create your life.
Not by controlling outcomes—but by choosing your interpretation of them.
Here’s something you may not know about me: I don’t add people to my life casually.
When I begin a new relationship, I’m not just asking, “Do I like them?” I’m asking:
“Do they fit into the fabric of my life?
Can they coexist with the people I already love?”
**Do they bring peace, depth, intention—or chaos and confusion?”
Because I don’t compartmentalize.
I want my people to know each other. I want harmony in my connections. I want emotional integrity and relational coherence. I’m not interested in playing emotional Tetris just to accommodate people who don’t value clarity.
Creating my life means that I curate my relationships with care.
Not as a gatekeeper, but as an architect.
Because I know the kind of life I’m building—and I want people in it who are aligned with that vision.
There’s a subtle but profound difference between reacting to life and creating it.
Reacting is when you let someone ghosting you derail your day or your self-worth.
Creating is when you take that same moment and ask, “What is this clearing space for?”
Reacting is when you internalize rejection as proof you’re not good enough.
Creating is when you see that rejection as redirection—away from people who can’t meet you, toward those who truly can.
Reacting is waiting for others to validate your happiness.
Creating is taking your happiness into your own hands—daily, gently, consistently.
The affirmation “I create my life” is not about control—it’s about responsibility.
It’s about recognizing that everything in our lives, from the relationships we cultivate to the boundaries we uphold, is a reflection of how we see ourselves.
So yes, I still face rejection.
Yes, I still feel the sting of a goodbye I didn’t see coming.
But I also feel immense gratitude—for the tools, the mindset, and the clarity that let me say:
“This isn’t about them.
This is about how I want to live.
And I’m going to keep choosing peace, love, connection, and truth.”
Because I’m the one painting this life.
And I get to decide what colors stay.
