We Didn’t Break Up — We Rewrote the Rules
TikTok video from 2022-06-24
When things in our marriage began to shift, we were faced with a choice. The standard narrative says you either make it work as-is, or you split up and start over. But what if there's a third option? What if you evolve together?
That’s what we chose.
We didn’t choose divorce. We chose curiosity. We chose honesty. We chose polyamory.
Not because something was broken. Not to fix our marriage. But to respect the truth about who we had become as individuals.
We realized we were no longer sexually compatible. My husband is more tantric, meditative, and spiritual about intimacy. I lean into kink, intensity, play. Instead of asking each other to shrink or stretch into something unnatural, we gave each other permission to seek those experiences with others—while still choosing each other as life partners.
That’s the core of this: we chose each other. Still do.
Opening our marriage wasn’t a fracture—it was a release. A way to grow closer by being honest about what we needed. We both found new joy, new pleasure, and new appreciation for each other by not pretending anymore.
And let me say this clearly: polyamory isn’t a Band-Aid for a failing relationship. It requires deep communication, radical honesty, and mutual respect. We didn’t open our relationship to escape problems. We opened it because our bond was strong enough to hold space for more.
It’s also worth mentioning that many women my age—50s and beyond—have quietly accepted sexual dissatisfaction. Some haven’t had meaningful intimacy in years. Some have never experienced what it’s like to be truly pleasured. I know that pain. I was that woman.
But not anymore.
Today, I have lovers who care deeply about my pleasure. They aren’t trying to fix me or get something in return. They’re just present. Passionate. Generous. I’ve stopped performing. I’ve started receiving. And for the first time in my life, I feel fully expressed.
And still—I come home to my husband. We cook dinner. We hold hands. We laugh. We make each other tea. The love hasn’t left. It’s matured. It’s rooted. It’s unshaken.
So no, we didn’t give up. We just stopped pretending we were one-size-fits-all people in a one-size-fits-all marriage. We honored our vows—not by clinging to outdated rules, but by evolving our love to meet the truth of who we are now.
And honestly? It’s been the most honest, liberating chapter of our life together.
