Prospecting for Primal: A Dating Update
TikTok video from 2022-04-01
Let’s talk about the hunt for that primal spark, because as you know, I’m not just looking for a warm body—I want heat, intensity, and someone who makes me want to rip their clothes off in return. Remember when I was experiencing jealousy because of my partner’s primal connection to my friend?
So here’s where we’re at.
Recently, I was prospecting three potential partners. All three men I met at Munches—those lovely low-key social gatherings in the kink and poly world. Two I met at the same Munch, and one I met elsewhere. That third one? He and I had instant, magnetic, almost primal chemistry. The kind that lights your body up and makes you forget where you are.
But, plot twist: he ended up dating someone else, and they’ve chosen monogamy. And I respect that deeply. I have zero interest in pursuing someone who’s committed to monogamy—it’s not who I am, and it’s not the kind of energy I want to attract. So, that spark was beautiful and short-lived.
Now, onto the other two.
Date #1: Brunch and a walk through a wildlife preserve. He’s Persian, incredibly handsome, and honestly—an amazing kisser. I could tell he’d be a phenomenal lover. But here’s the thing: while he may have wanted to tear my clothes off, I didn’t feel the same urge in return. And I’m chasing primal, not polite. I want mutual fire, not just one-sided lust. So, that door gently closed.
Date #2: A surprise last-minute connection with the other guy I met at that same Munch. We’ll call him The Comedian. He’s a follower of mine on TikTok, which made things feel light and familiar. We went bar-hopping in downtown St. Pete (don’t worry, I stuck to tonic water after one drink), and it was surprisingly great. He’s sexy, charming, and—yes—we held hands.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting.
He was honest about the age gap. He’s in his mid-thirties, so about 20 years younger than I am, and he admitted that was something he was unsure about. I told him the same—I feel it too. But there was undeniable attraction, and we had fun. And sometimes, that’s enough to explore something different.
So instead of a traditional relationship, I’m proposing a rope dynamic. He wants to be my rope bunny. I’ll top, he’ll bottom, and we’ll take some classes together. It’s a way to connect that’s intimate, creative, and doesn’t require forcing a romantic relationship if that’s not where we’re both headed.
So there you have it—updates from the field.
Still no primal connection, but I'm loving the search, the clarity, and the honesty. I’m not interested in settling for lukewarm. I want my next partner to light a fire in me—and I’ll wait for the one whose clothes I can’t wait to tear off.
