No Man Has Ever Asked Me to Leave My Husband—And Here’s Why That Matters
TikTok video from 2022-05-05
One of the questions I get asked more than I ever expected is:
“Has a man ever wanted you to leave your husband?”
And every single time, my answer is the same:
No. Absolutely not.
Not even close.
Let’s unpack that.
My husband and I have been together for 36 years. That’s not just a number—it’s a whole life. We’ve raised each other through our twenties, built careers, weathered heartbreaks, grown into ourselves, and still wake up each day choosing to be in this partnership.
Our relationship is not fragile. We didn’t open it because we were broken. We opened it because we were strong enough to explore something deeper, something different—together. Polyamory for us wasn’t a fix. It was an expansion. A “yes, and…” not a “no, but…”
So when I meet someone new, I don’t just mention my husband in passing—I lead with it. I tell them I’m married. I tell them I’m polyamorous. I tell them I’m not looking for a replacement or a rescue. And if that’s not what they’re looking for too, that’s okay. We move on.
If a man were to ask me to leave my husband, it would be an immediate red flag—not just because it shows a lack of respect for my primary relationship, but because it shows a lack of understanding of me. My identity is rooted in the truth that love doesn’t have to be exclusive to be meaningful. That multiple relationships can coexist beautifully when built on honesty, clarity, and care.
Polyamory isn’t about upgrading or escaping. It’s about connection, and autonomy, and creating space for everyone to show up as their full selves. Including me.
My husband and I have built something real—something deep and evolving and resilient. And anyone I let into my life is someone who sees that and respects it. That’s non-negotiable.
So no, no one has ever asked me to leave him. And if they did? I wouldn’t even entertain the question.
Because I’m not interested in love that comes with ultimatums. I’m interested in love that expands.
