I Choose to Be Happy—Even If It’s Unconventional
I’m Lisa, the Poly Wife. I’m married, I’m dating, and I choose to be happy—even if that choice doesn’t fit into everyone else’s idea of what a "happy life" should look like.
Today I’m back with my mastermind series, and this one’s all about the affirmation: “I choose to be happy.” It might sound simple, but let me tell you, it’s layered. Choosing happiness isn’t just about smiling through a tough day or putting a positive spin on things. It’s about making intentional decisions that align with who I am—even if they go against the grain.
Very few people in my offline life know about my TikTok channel. Fewer still know that I’ve been married for 35 years and that I date other people. When I say date, I mean openly, joyfully, and ethically. My husband and I practice polyamory. We love each other deeply and are committed to the life we’ve built—one that includes space for other loving, meaningful relationships.
I’ve spent years telling myself, “I don’t care what people think.” But if I’m honest? I do care. I want to be liked. I want to be accepted. That’s human. I’m not out here trying to be the most popular person in the room, but I also don’t want to be judged or misunderstood for living differently.
But here’s the key: I won’t change who I am to be accepted. I choose to live authentically, even if that means some people don’t understand me. I’m not interested in fitting into someone else’s mold of what a good life or a good marriage looks like. I’m interested in living a life that’s true to me.
I’m currently at my college reunion, and this place is full of high achievers. My peers have gone on to become doctors, scientists, lawyers, leaders. And me? I was a cook. I didn’t chase a traditional path or advanced degrees. What I did chase—and build—was community. Connection. Real, honest relationships.
I’ve helped keep my class connected over the years. I’ve been the glue in a lot of ways, in a lot of communities—organizing, networking, building bridges. And now, I’ve built something beautiful online—a community on TikTok where we talk about polyamory, relationships, communication, and yes, happiness.
And yet… no one here really knows that part of me. I’ve stayed quiet about it, not out of shame, but because I know it would be misunderstood. Still, I’m choosing happiness. I’m choosing to honor who I am today.
I’m choosing the life that makes sense for me. I’m choosing to love in a way that fills me up and fulfills their needs as well. I’m choosing to be open, real, and brave. It might not be everyone’s version of success—but it’s mine.
Wherever you are and whatever path you’re walking—popular or not—I hope you’ll choose happiness too.
