A Walk on the Beach—and a Thought About Love Without Timelines
TikTok video from 2022-05-15
There’s something grounding about walking barefoot on sand. The rhythm of the waves, the vastness of the ocean—it puts things in perspective. That’s where this thought came to me: we rush relationships. We expect them to escalate. And maybe that pressure is doing more harm than good.
Most of us are handed a kind of relationship blueprint early on. You date, you commit, you move in, you get married, you merge lives. Love is only considered “real” if it progresses. And if it stalls or stays casual? It’s often seen as a failure.
But being polyamorous has shown me another path.
I was chatting with a friend recently, and I told him something that took him by surprise. I said, “I don’t want anything from you.” And I meant it. I don’t want his retirement plan. I don’t need to know what our relationship will look like in five years. I’m not trying to upgrade him into a nesting partner or measure his worth by how many milestones we hit.
What I want is to enjoy who we are right now—however that looks.
Maybe we just share a few amazing dinners. Maybe we laugh and flirt and exchange late-night texts for a season. Maybe we explore sex, or maybe we don't. Maybe we become close friends, or drift apart naturally. There’s no pressure to escalate.
And that’s the freedom polyamory gives me: the ability to embrace relationships for what they are, not what they’re supposed to become.
It’s not about lowering standards. It’s about shifting focus—from the end goal to the experience. From “what’s next” to “what’s now.”
And honestly? That shift makes space for more honesty, more pleasure, and more peace. It allows me and my partners to be present with each other without needing to perform or plan a future we may not even want.
There’s something deeply powerful about loving someone without needing to own, change, or mold them. Just enjoying them. And being grateful for what’s shared, whether it lasts a week, a year, or a lifetime.
After a walk on the beach, I realized I don’t want love that escalates out of pressure. I want love that breathes.
