Why Not Just Invest Everything in One Person? Here's My Honest Answer!
TikTok video from 2022-02-18
Q: Why not invest everything into your husband? Why have involvement with another person? Tell your husband what is missing so it’s just the two of you?
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A: I really appreciate this question—thank you for asking it. It’s one of those topics that took me a few days to fully sit with, to reflect on what I really feel and how I’d want to share that with you. Because at its core, it’s simple… and yet, layered.
My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. That’s a long time. A lifetime of love, laughter, growth, challenges, inside jokes, and deep, mutual investment. And I can say with total confidence—we love each other, we are deeply committed to one another, and we absolutely want to spend the rest of our lives as a married couple.
But here’s where our story takes a slightly different shape than what most people expect: our sexual interests just don’t align anymore. And instead of ignoring that, resenting it, or letting it pull us apart—we decided to face it with honesty and openness.
I want his needs to be met. He wants my needs to be met. And sometimes, that means those needs are met by other people.
That’s really it. We’re not falling out of love or checking out of our marriage. We’ve just found that maintaining our deep, loving partnership while also being sexually fulfilled elsewhere is what works best for us. (Update 2025) We are currently living apart. At first it was for economic reasons, but now it’s because we love our current situations and we already KNOW we live together well. We did it for 36 years… We may again. Who knows? We’re happy ourselves AND for each other.
And I know that may sound radical to some—but for us, it’s just honest. It’s respectful. It’s deeply loving in its own way.
We’ve invested everything into this relationship, and we’re not going anywhere. We’ve simply created a space that lets both of us feel whole—without asking the other person to be everything for us or to make sacrifices. And that, in itself, has brought us even closer.
I hope that helps shed some light on what a long-term, non-exclusive, loving partnership can look like. If you have more questions, I’m always open to the conversation.
