What Wakes Up Your Sex Drive? A Question for Women Who Are Listening Inward

TikTok video from 2023-10-04

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So this has been on my mind today, and I just want to say it out loud—because I don’t think we talk about it enough.

I’m sitting here with my coffee, wrapped in my favorite robe, and wondering...

What actually wakes up a woman’s sex drive?
Not in theory. Not in textbooks.
But in real life. In our bodies.

Is it something internal? Like a stirring that begins deep in the belly, a whisper that says, “Touch me. I’m ready.”
Or is it external? A look. A word. The right scent on the right skin. A clean kitchen and someone else doing the damn dishes.

Because I’ve been noticing lately—mine shifts.
There are days where it feels like nothing could turn me on, and then—boom—someone sends a voice note in just the right tone, or I catch a glimpse of myself dancing in the mirror, and suddenly everything’s humming.

Other days, it’s almost like I need to trick my body into remembering. A slow shower. My own hands. Lingerie I wear just for me. Sometimes it’s a spark from a lover. Sometimes it’s a spark I have to build myself.

And I’m wondering, for you—what is it?
What calls you back into your body?
What flips the switch from “blah” to “yes”?
Is it your own imagination? Sensory things? Connection? Trust? Or just time and space to breathe?

I’ve started a thread on my OnlyFans about this too, because I really want to know. I’m craving that conversation, woman to woman—raw, honest, without the performative pressure.

I think we’re taught that arousal should just show up—that desire is supposed to be automatic or reactive or something that someone else turns on for us.

But for a lot of us?
It’s not like that.
Desire takes tending. It takes quiet. It takes trust. Sometimes, it even takes grief.

So I’m asking—
What wakes you up?
What draws you out of your head and into your skin?

If you feel like sharing, I’m listening. And I promise—there’s no wrong answer.