The Space Between Us: Why We're Taking a Sabbatical, Not Separating

TikTok video from 2023-09-30

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Okay, deep breath.
This one’s tender.

People have been asking—friends, followers, people who’ve been watching our story for years now:
“What’s going on with you two?”
“Are you separating?”
“Are you okay?”

And the short answer is: we’re taking a break.
But we’re not calling it a separation.

We’re calling it a sabbatical.

Here’s what that means for us:
Our lease is up. Life opened a little window. And instead of clinging to the structure we’ve always known, we looked at each other and said—
"What if we didn’t renew? What if we each took some time to breathe... apart?"

So he’s going home—to his mom, his family, his roots.
And I’m heading to Utah, where I’ve collected a constellation of friends and soul family over the years.
We’re choosing to live apart for now—intentionally, lovingly, and with the hope that space will bring clarity, not closure.

It’s not about running away. It’s about stepping in—to our own healing.
Doing the work.
Facing the parts of ourselves we’ve quieted for too long inside the “we.”

And truthfully? I’m kind of excited. So is he.
Because the intention here isn’t to end our relationship.
The intention is to reset it.

We’ve both become versions of ourselves that we don’t entirely love.
I’ve taken on this heavy, uninvited role of “parent” in our dynamic—guiding, fixing, checking in, over-managing.
And he’s retreated—shrinking into a space that doesn’t feel aligned with who he’s capable of becoming.

We love each other too much to let that be our story.

So we’re giving each other room to grow again. Separately. Consciously.
We both want to live into our full potential—not just as individuals, but eventually, as a couple again.

And that’s what a sabbatical is for us.
Not a breakup. Not a breakdown.
But a breathing space between the chapters.

I don’t know what will come next.
And I’m learning to be okay with that.

What I do know is that this choice, as scary as it is, feels deeply right.
It’s not impulsive.
It’s not passive-aggressive.
It’s not laced with resentment or regret.

It’s just… two people choosing to love each other well, by not losing themselves any further.

So if you’re watching from the sidelines and wondering what’s happening—this is it.
We’re on a sabbatical.
And we’re hopeful.