Story Time: The First Time I Told Sapio I Loved Him
TikTok video from 2022-03-22
I have a boyfriend and several comet lovers. Some live out of state, others are snowbirds or live far enough away that I only see them occasionally. Today I want to share a little love story—specifically, the first time I told Sapio that I loved him.
Sapio is a swinger. He has a few play partners, and he sees his hot wife every week. They’ve been dating for two years now and just celebrated their anniversary. He also has a couple of other lovers he sees occasionally, and I’ve met some of them—but not all. When Sapio and I met, he wasn’t looking for love. He was looking to expand his circle of playmates—no strings, just fun.
But our connection was different.
From the beginning, there was a spark—not just physical chemistry, but a deep, cerebral, emotional connection. We talk for hours. We challenged each other, made each other laugh, and found ourselves diving into conversation that was rich, real, and surprisingly vulnerable. He wasn’t seeking a polyamorous relationship, and I was the first openly polyamorous person he had ever dated. So, understandably, he had his doubts. I didn’t expect him to fall in love with me. That wasn’t the goal. But I also wasn’t going to hide how I felt.
About two months in, I reached that point where I knew I needed to say it: I loved him. That’s who I am—I don’t love casually or conditionally. When I feel it, I say it. But I didn’t want him to misinterpret my words as a demand for more commitment or exclusivity. I simply wanted to be honest and to love him in the way I love: openly, without pressure.
We were driving to St. Pete for a double date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. I turned to him in the car and said:
“Hey babe, I just want to tell you that I love you. And I don’t want you to freak out. I don’t need you to say it back. I don’t need anything to change. I just want to be able to say, every once in a while, ‘Hey babe, I miss you. I love you.’ Or, ‘You’re really rocking my world and I love you.’ Or even just, ‘Great to see you, love you, bye.’ I want to be able to love you freely, with no expectations.”
There was a beat of silence, and then he nodded and said, “Yeah, okay.”
That was it. No fireworks, no drama. Just a simple yes to love, exactly as it was.
And then, that very afternoon, when we were parting ways and I said, “Okay, bye babe, I love you,” he surprised me:
“I love you too.”
Now, he doesn’t say it often. And he doesn’t have to. Because I feel it. I feel it in the way he shows up for me, in the way he listens, touches, laughs with me. I feel adored. I feel cherished. I feel loved. And that’s what really matters.
He may not have been looking for love, but love found us anyway. And best of all? He loves my husband too. They’ve shared laughs, conversations, even meals. That kind of mutual respect and connection is rare—and I treasure it every single day.
Sometimes I think about how often we wait for the right time to say "I love you." We worry about how it will be received, what it will mean, whether it will change everything. But what if we simply let love be what it is? Uncomplicated. Honest. Free.
Love doesn’t always need a plan or a promise. Sometimes it just needs room to breathe—and the courage to speak its name.
That day in the car was a turning point. Not because we became something different, but because we allowed our connection to deepen without fear. We didn’t box it in. We didn’t label it beyond what it already was. We just let it grow. And it has continued to grow—quietly, beautifully, and in perfect alignment with who we both are.
That’s what real connection looks like in polyamory. Not demanding more. Not forcing change. Just loving someone exactly where they are—and being lucky enough when they love you back.
