Starting Fresh – Who I Am, What I Believe, and Why I’m Here
TikTok video from 2022-06-21
Hey there. I’m Lisa—some of you know me as “The Poly Wife.” If you’re new, welcome. If you’ve been following for a while, thank you. And if you’ve thrown some side-eye my way lately, that’s okay too. I figured it’s time to reintroduce myself, clear the air, and explain why I’m here sharing my life so openly.
I’ve been married to my husband, Everett, for 35 years. That’s not a typo. Thirty-five years. We’ve been together for 36. Our relationship has gone through all the usual stages—plus some very unconventional ones. Three years ago, we made a major shift: we opened our marriage and began living as polyamorous partners.
Before you assume anything, no—we didn’t do it because our marriage was broken. We didn’t open our relationship to fix something. We opened it to expand something. We were already strong, deeply committed, and still very much in love. But like a lot of couples in long-term relationships, we realized we had needs that weren’t being fully met by each other. Instead of letting that eat away at us in silence or lead to resentment, we chose to do something about it—with full honesty, communication, and consent.
We moved to Florida seven years ago. That shift gave us space to rediscover who we were and to grow into new versions of ourselves. These have been the best years of our lives—despite also being some of the hardest. Like many people, we’re navigating financial struggles. But our marriage? Our connection? That’s never been stronger.
So when people ask me, “Why would you open your marriage?”—I tell them this: because love isn’t a limited resource. Because people grow. Because we were brave enough to trust each other with our full truth.
Yes, I date other people. So does my husband. In fact, yesterday I went on my first “first date” in a while. I’d been chatting with someone for three weeks, getting to know him deeply, honestly, and intentionally. I was nervous. First dates don’t stop being vulnerable just because you’re experienced. But they’re also exciting. Full of possibility.
Some folks were confused—or even a little judgmental—about that post. So let me make something clear: dating while married doesn’t mean I’m replacing or disrespecting my husband. It means I’m choosing honesty over secrecy. Expansion over limitation. And joy over quiet desperation.
Twelve years ago, Everett had a sexual experience with a friend of ours. He told me about it openly. My response? “Thank you for being honest. Let’s figure out what’s going on with us.” We did the work. We grew. We healed.
Then, three years ago, he fell in love with another friend—and she felt the same. Instead of seeing it as a threat, we saw it as a possibility. That was the beginning of our journey into polyamory.
We had always assumed that “if we ever did something like this,” it would be swinging or shared experiences. But what made more sense for us was dating separately. That freedom has deepened our relationship in ways I didn’t expect.
I’m not here to convert anyone. I’m here to share. To normalize a way of living and loving that works beautifully for us. I know polyamory isn’t for everyone. But I also know that monogamy doesn’t work for everyone either—and most people are never given permission to explore alternatives.
I’m sharing my life because someone out there is wondering, “Am I the only one who feels this way?” And to that person, I want to say: You’re not. You’re never alone. And your version of happiness matters.
So come along with me. I’ll tell you about my partners. I’ll tell you about my husband. I’ll share the messy parts and the magical parts. And I’ll do it all with love, humor, and full transparency.
Got questions? I welcome them. Curious about something? Let me know.
Let’s talk love, truth, and what it means to write your own rules.
