Kitchen Table Poly and the Joy of Shared Cabinets

This week gave me one of those small but fantastic moments that make me so grateful for the life I’ve built. I’m currently living with my boyfriend and his wife— (and her bf) and it’s not just working… it’s thriving.

We’re in the middle of a kitchen renovation, and while his wife (my metamour) took the lead on picking out the big-ticket items—cabinets, sink, shelving—this week she invited me into the process. Specifically, to help choose the pots, pans, and knives.

What followed was a week of shared Amazon links, suggestions, opinions, and a surprisingly satisfying quick debate over the right number of saucepans. We messaged back and forth about quality, colors, practicality, and yes… even knife aesthetics (we have opinions). It was fun. But it was also connective.

I started fantasizing about what it might be like to cook together once a week—meal prep as a shared ritual, a little chaos, a lot of chopping, and music in the background. Later, my boyfriend and I had a conversation, and brainstormed ways to bring more variety into our meals since—let’s be honest—four adults and one kid means five different sets of preferences, dietary needs, and cravings.

And yet… there’s something really beautiful about this collaboration. Not just the food. The relationship ecosystem. This, for me, is what Kitchen Table Polyamory looks like: shared life, shared space, shared responsibility. Not in a forced or obligatory way, but in a “we actually enjoy this” kind of way.

It’s moments like this—over cookware and wishlists—that remind me how polyamory isn’t always about the big emotional talks or complex schedules. Sometimes it’s about building a home that fits everyone in it, quirks and all.

Have questions about Kitchen Table Poly or anything else?

Leave a comment or email me directly—I’d love to include your thoughts in an upcoming blog post. Let’s keep this conversation going.