How to Break Up Like a Grown-Up (And Why I’m Grateful for It)
TikTok video from 2022-05-24
Y’all. I had the best breakup this weekend.
I know, that sounds weird—maybe even impossible. But hear me out. When someone ends a relationship with honesty, kindness, and emotional maturity? That’s rare. That’s worth celebrating. And that’s exactly what happened with one of my partners—affectionately nicknamed Doctor of Philosophy.
We weren’t a love-at-first-sight kind of pairing. Our connection was more intellectual and comforting than deeply romantic. We shared a lot—laughter, touch, safe space, and some beautiful moments—but love in the traditional sense? It wasn’t really part of the mix. And I knew that. So did he.
But instead of letting things fizzle out or get murky, he did something that honestly stunned me with its grace: he wrote me a letter. A thoughtful, reflective, honest email explaining that while he cared for me deeply, he wanted to move toward relationships where romantic love—actual or potential—was present. And since we didn’t have that spark, it felt right to redefine our dynamic.
He didn’t vanish. He didn’t dodge. He didn’t make excuses. He sat with his truth, and he offered it to me respectfully, giving space for conversation, not just a monologue. He affirmed what we had, clarified what he needed, and gently closed a chapter that had run its course.
It was, hands down, one of the most intentional and respectful breakups I’ve ever had.
This is what I value so much in polyamory—not just the diversity of relationships, but the intentionality behind how we start and end them. People always ask how we manage multiple partners without drama, and the answer is this: communication. Radical honesty. Respect. And yes, sometimes courage.
This breakup reminded me of something simple but profound: not every relationship has to last forever to be successful. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let go with grace, not because we don’t care, but because we care enough to honor the truth.
Polyamory isn’t just about adding partners—it’s about building relationships that are aligned, consensual, and deeply intentional. Sometimes that means growing together. And sometimes it means parting ways with care.
I’m not sad this relationship ended. I’m grateful it happened. I’m grateful for his words, his clarity, and his willingness to show up fully. That’s the kind of love I want in all my relationships—whether they last ten weeks or ten years.
Here’s to mature endings, soft landings, and the freedom to evolve.
