How Does Religion Play a Part in Our Marriage?
TikTok video from 2022-03-21
Thank you, LittleLulu2020, for asking such an important question. Religion and spirituality are deeply personal, and for many people, they’re tightly woven into the fabric of marriage and family. So I really appreciate the opportunity to talk about how it plays a role—or doesn’t—in my own relationship.
Here’s the truth: I’m not a religious person.
I grew up Catholic, and like many people raised in structured religious environments, I had some early moments of dissonance. By the time I was 18, I knew I didn’t want to follow the rules I was taught. I wanted to have premarital sex. I wanted to use birth control. And I figured if I wasn’t going to play by the rules of that particular game, I didn’t need to be in it at all. So I stepped away from the Catholic Church.
My husband, on the other hand, grew up Southern Baptist. He had a more deeply religious upbringing and maintained ties with churches through most of our marriage—especially before we moved to Florida. In his world, church taught him that public displays of affection weren’t appropriate. He never really learned to dance (which, let’s be honest, made for some awkward moments early on—but also some really sweet ones).
Over the years, we navigated our spiritual differences with openness and mutual respect. He continued to attend church for many years, even when I didn’t. I supported that, because his faith was something that gave him structure and comfort. At the same time, he respected that my values were rooted in a different kind of spiritual practice—one that wasn’t religious, but still deeply meaningful to me.
Despite our different religious trajectories, we’ve always been aligned on one core value: unconditional love.
To me, that’s the real spiritual foundation of our marriage. If you say you love someone unconditionally, that means no matter what. No matter what they do. No matter what you do. The love stays. It might need to stretch or evolve or find new ways to exist—but it doesn’t vanish.
That’s how I approach my relationships—with my husband, with my partners, and with myself. I love anyway. Even when it’s hard. Even when we make mistakes. Even when we’re learning.
And that’s also how I interpret what I believe Jesus stood for: radical, unconditional love.
Do I believe in hell, sin, and punishment? No, not in the traditional sense. I was taught that God gave us free will—the ability to make our own choices. And I don’t believe someone would give me free will just to punish me for using it.
So I live my life with integrity. I communicate clearly. I treat people with respect. I show up with honesty and compassion. And when someone does something unkind—yes, even in those comments—I love them anyway. Because that’s what I believe Jesus would do.
And maybe that’s my version of faith: showing up every day with empathy, loving myself and others without conditions, and giving people the grace to be human. That’s what guides me. That’s what shapes my marriage.
In the end, religion doesn’t shape the structure of our marriage. But love, intention, and mutual respect absolutely do. And that’s more than enough for us.
