A Shout Out to My Meta: Love, Care, and Co-Partnering in Polyamory
This one’s for my meta—my husband’s girlfriend.
We don’t talk enough about how beautiful metamour relationships can be. We spend so much time explaining polyamory to people—breaking down what it is, what it’s not, why it’s not about jealousy or betrayal—that we sometimes forget to spotlight the moments that make this life not just functional, but truly extraordinary.
This past month, my husband has been going through a tough time health-wise. He’s been dealing with atrial fibrillation—AFib—which, if you’re not familiar, is a heart rhythm disorder that can be scary and unpredictable. He’s had to be hospitalized multiple times. He’s had to undergo cardiac procedures, including having his heart shocked back into rhythm. More than once. And for several days, he was in the hospital without me—because I had to be away from home that week, juggling other parts of our life.
And while I was away, worried and trying to manage my own fear and helplessness from a distance, she was there.
Not just there in a symbolic way—but present. Engaged. Caring. Holding his hand, asking the doctors questions, advocating for him. She is, as fate would have it, a nurse. She knows what to look for. She understands what a heart monitor is telling her. She’s calm in the chaos. And she loves him.
She loves him.
Like I do.
In her own way, with her own rhythm.
And because we both love him, we both want him to be okay—not just for ourselves, but for each other. We share the outcome of his health. His well-being benefits both of us. When he takes care of himself, we both get to spend time with a man we love. When he’s cared for by one of us, it gives the other peace of mind. We’re not in competition. We’re in collaboration.
And let me tell you, that is one of the most sacred, deeply healing parts of polyamory.
We talk a lot about how polyamory allows us to love more than one person, but what it also allows—when done with kindness and integrity—is for those people to care for each other. There’s something powerful about having someone else in your partner’s life who sees their value, their struggles, their humanity. And when your metamour is someone who can step in during a medical emergency with knowledge, grace, and love?
That’s not just polyamory. That’s partnership on a whole new level.
So this is my public thank-you.
Thank you to my meta—for being the kind of woman who doesn’t just love my husband, but cares for him. For not pulling away when things got hard. For showing up. For being competent, generous, and kind. For helping carry the emotional weight of this month. For reminding me that I’m not alone in loving him.
This is the part of polyamory people don’t always see.
It’s not always date nights and new relationship energy and flirty text chains.
Sometimes, it’s real life.
Sometimes, it’s heart monitors and hospital food and coordinating who’s bringing him home.
And when it works—when your meta becomes your co-pilot in care—it’s nothing short of breathtaking.
So here’s to the metas.
The quiet heroes.
The unexpected allies.
The women who love with open hearts, shared calendars, and gentle hands.
I love this life. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s real.
