What the F*ck Have I Done With My Life? (And Why That’s a Good Thing)
TikTok video from 2022-05-20
(And Why That’s Actually a Beautiful Question)
You ever have one of those mornings?
You open your eyes, and before you even stretch or reach for your phone, that little voice in your head whispers, What the actual fuck have I done with my life?
This morning, that voice hit me hard. I lay in bed with the ceiling staring back at me like it had answers. I didn’t feel inspired. I didn’t feel powerful. I felt… heavy. Not with regret, exactly—but with reminders. Flashbacks to moments I messed up. Words I wish I could take back. Choices I made that led to heartbreak or chaos. Plans that never saw the light of day.
I’ve failed. A lot.
But here’s the difference between the version of me who used to drown in that feeling and the version of me who got out of bed today: I know now that failure is just evidence. It’s proof that I’ve lived.
Every misstep was a step, dammit. A step forward. A step into risk. A step out of comfort. A step toward something I didn’t fully understand at the time but had the guts to chase anyway.
So yeah, I’ve failed. Repeatedly. But I’m still here. Still standing. Still creating. Still choosing my life.
And this morning, after the mental inventory of all my not-quite-successes, I got up. I made coffee. I changed into gym clothes. I went and moved my body. Because that’s the contract I’ve made with myself: when doubt shows up, I move anyway.
That’s the win.
That’s what failure has taught me—not to stop trying, but to keep going even when it’s awkward or painful or slow.
Because the real question isn’t “What have I done with my life?”
It’s “What am I still willing to do?”
And my answer to that—every single time—is keep going. Keep growing. Keep choosing joy. Keep finding the lesson. Keep laughing when I fall. Keep crying when it hurts. Keep showing up for myself when no one else knows I’m struggling.
So, if you woke up with the same question in your mind today, here’s your reminder:
You’re doing the damn thing. You’re living. You’re learning. And no matter what yesterday looked like, you still have today.
That, my love, is a kind of magic.
