Story Time, Part 2: Wax Play - Sapio
TikTok video from 2022-05-04
So, here we go with Part 2: Sapio’s perception…
It was supposed to be a cozy, connective evening. Barella came over, Sapio was already here, and we planned some wax play. For those who aren’t familiar, wax play is an intimate, sensory experience—and when done with trust, it can be really beautiful. My role that night wasn’t to be the one playing—it was to be the witness, the nurturer, the holder of space.
And I was happy doing that. Truly. Watching Barella and Sapio connect during their scene filled me with warmth. I loved seeing them enjoy themselves. Afterward, they curled up on the couch together, looking through the photos I had taken. He had his arm around her, they were laughing, connecting, glowing from the experience.
To me, it was beautiful.
But later that night, in the quiet stillness after everyone had gone, Sapio and I were talking under candlelight. And he hesitated. Then admitted something: “That moment on the couch… it felt strange. You were sitting right there, and I felt like I was doing something wrong.”
I was surprised. “Wrong? You were comforting her. You were holding space after an intense scene. I loved watching that.”
And that’s when it hit me: just because I feel safe and confident in my polyamory doesn’t mean everyone around me does.
Even more so when I spoke to Barella the next day. She echoed Sapio’s discomfort. “I felt awkward. Like I was stepping on your toes by being close to him.”
And again, I was shocked. “But you weren’t! That’s why I do polyamory—so people I love can experience each other in ways that feel good and natural.”
But here’s the thing: both of them, while open-minded and loving, are still navigating what it feels like to exist in a space where love, connection, and intimacy aren’t tied to possession. They’re not polyamorous by practice, and even when they know something is okay intellectually, the emotional side can take longer to catch up.
And that’s okay. It’s normal. It’s part of the work.
I realized that while I often feel like I’m modeling polyamory with comfort and ease, people around me might still need more explicit cues. More reassurance. More opportunities to talk through what feels okay versus what is okay on paper.
It was a reminder that this isn’t just about “doing poly right”—it’s about meeting people where they are emotionally. Even people we love. Especially people we love.
So, what’s the takeaway?
Polyamory is more than logistics—it’s emotional fluency.
Just because something looks harmonious doesn’t mean everyone feels secure.
And most importantly: we cannot over-communicate. Ever.
This experience has only deepened my love for my people. It reminded me that even those who play confidently still carry internal narratives from past relationship models. And when we give them space to unpack that without shame, we all grow.
Stay tuned for Part 3—because this story keeps unfolding in the most honest and beautiful ways.
