Letting Go With Love: What Really Happened With Sapio

TikTok video from 2023-05-09

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Good morning, love.

Or maybe it’s afternoon where you are. Or the middle of the night when you can’t sleep and you’re scrolling through stories to find something that makes you feel less alone.

Either way—I’m here.
And it’s time I shared the story I promised you.

This week has been heavy in a quiet way.
You know that ache that doesn’t roar but hums beneath the surface? That’s what this one has felt like.

So… let’s talk about me and Sapio.

We ended things recently. And while it wasn’t dramatic or cruel, it was painful—because it happened slowly. Softly. Almost invisibly. The kind of unraveling where no one slams a door, but suddenly you realize the light’s no longer on inside.

And the truth?
The reason we ended is simple.
He started dating someone else.

Now before you jump to assumptions—this wasn’t about jealousy.
I’m polyamorous. He’s polyamorous. We’ve both dated other people the entire time we’ve been together. That’s not the issue. That’s not ever been the issue.

What was different this time… was that this woman?
She wasn’t just a fling or a crush.
She was a relationship.

It was the first time Sapio had really stepped into polyamory with the kind of depth I’m familiar with. The kind where it’s not just dates or DMs or scenes—it’s presence. Intimacy. Care. Energy. The kind of poly where another person becomes a part of your regular rhythm.

And I was genuinely happy for him.
Truly.

But over time, I noticed something shifting.
The rituals that used to be ours—suddenly, they were happening with her.
And not with me.

He wasn’t doing anything wrong.
But he also wasn’t doing anything with me anymore.

We weren’t sharing meals like we used to.
He stopped reaching for connection in the ways that made our relationship feel special.
The small, sweet things? They slipped away.

And then there was the deeper truth:

We weren’t having coffee.

And if you know me, you know what that means.

We weren’t sharing physical intimacy.
We weren’t in each other’s bodies anymore.
We were friends. Sweet friends. Comfortable friends. But I hadn’t signed up for just that.

Not when I knew what it felt like to be wanted.
To be pursued.
To be held.

And it hit me—hard—that I was no longer getting the things I needed.
Not the affection.
Not the attention.
Not the connection.
And not the coffee.

There wasn’t anger.
There wasn’t betrayal.
There was just… quiet distance.
Until I realized the space between us had grown too wide to reach across.

So we ended it.

And while it hurts, it also feels honest.
Because love doesn’t always end with a fight.
Sometimes it ends when the things that made it feel alive fade into memory—and you both forget to water what you planted.

What I’ve learned (again) is this:

Polyamory doesn’t protect you from heartbreak.
It just gives you more places to learn how to be honest with yourself.
And right now, the honest truth is—I need to be loved actively.
I need to be wanted consistently.
I need shared rituals, shared bodies, shared laughter. Not memories of what we used to do.

So that’s where I’m at.

Letting go.
Breathing through it.
Still grateful.
Still soft.
And very much open to whatever’s next.