Letting Go With Love: What Really Happened With Sapio
Good morning, love.
Or maybe it’s afternoon where you are. Or the middle of the night when you can’t sleep and you’re scrolling through stories to find something that makes you feel less alone.
Either way—I’m here.
And it’s time I shared the story I promised you.
This week has been heavy in a quiet way.
You know that ache that doesn’t roar but hums beneath the surface? That’s what this one has felt like.
So… let’s talk about me and Sapio.
We ended things recently. And while it wasn’t dramatic or cruel, it was painful—because it happened slowly. Softly. Almost invisibly. The kind of unraveling where no one slams a door, but suddenly you realize the light’s no longer on inside.
And the truth?
The reason we ended is simple.
He started dating someone else.
Now before you jump to assumptions—this wasn’t about jealousy.
I’m polyamorous. He’s been ethically non-monogamous and is now newly polyamorous. We’ve both dated other people the entire time we’ve been together. That’s not the issue. That’s not ever been the issue.
What was different this time… was that this woman offered a new dynamic.
She wasn’t just a fling or a crush.
She was a relationship.
It was the first time Sapio had really stepped into polyamory with the kind of depth I’m familiar with. The kind where it’s not just dates or DMs or scenes—it’s presence. Intimacy. Care. Energy. The kind of poly where another person becomes a part of your regular rhythm.
And I was genuinely happy for him.
Truly.
But over time, I noticed something shifting.
The rituals that used to be ours—suddenly, they were happening with her.
And not with me.
He wasn’t doing anything wrong.
But he also wasn’t doing enough with me anymore.
We weren’t sharing meals like we used to.
He stopped reaching for connection in the ways that made our relationship feel special.
The small, sweet things? They slipped away.
And then there was the deeper truth:
We had become like an old married couple: We were friends. Sweet friends. Comfortable friends. For us, our time together was never about sex, but without it, and without his attention, what am I left with?
It hit me—hard—that I was no longer getting the things I needed.
Not the affection.
Not the attention.
And not the connection.
He was also distracted by her texts during our time together, and I’m not okay with that. So, when he was lifting his phone to answer her texts in the middle of our date, I told him that I didn’t want to interrupt his conversation and that I was going to go.
He’d never been a ‘hinge’ in two relationships before and he was caught up in NRE and enjoying the attention he was giving and getting with his new partner.
I’m okay with all of it, except when it impedes on our time, so I walked out.
I apologized later and he went away for a weekend and said he’d be “dark.” He didn’t contact me, but I saw that he was actively connecting with others and I realized that he was punishing me for walking out on our date, even after he accepted my apology.
He was my Daddy Dom… nurturing and caring. I have zero tolerance for punishment. I’m not being a brat… I had feelings, responded emotionally and apologized once I’d calmed down… He chose to punish me.
When I realized it was a punishment, and not simply “away” time, we discussed it over breakfast and ended it.
And while it hurts, it also feels honest.
Because love doesn’t always end with a fight.
Sometimes it ends when the things that made it feel alive fade into memory—and you both forget to water what you planted.
What I’ve learned (again) is this:
Polyamory doesn’t protect you from heartbreak.
It just gives you more places to learn how to be honest with yourself.
And right now, the honest truth is—I need to be loved actively.
I need to be wanted consistently.
I need shared rituals, shared bodies, shared laughter. Not memories of what we used to do. I need our time to be focused and about us.
So that’s where I’m at.
Letting go.
Breathing through it.
Still grateful.
Still soft.
And very much open to whatever’s next.
